I dont get it
I don't get it at all. Why are can things turn in to secconds from fine to not fine? How do they get all mixed up? Why do they break? why can't I find the missing piece?
There are alot of things at stake right now, and I'm making it a bigger deal than it should be. My eyes are blood shot right now, and they are filled with tears and the computer screen looks a little blurry. I'm jsut scared. It's not even somthing important, but it's somthing I've never done with out. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm trying to swim back to the surface, but the harder I kick, the more tired I get and the deeper I sink.
I feel like a jerk. There are people killing themselves to reach me in the water, but there arm is still just beyond there fingertips, leaving them feeling like they are not doing doing there job, when really it's me who is the problem. I don't know how to fix this. My head is pounding and my face is wet from tears. I'm trying my hardest, but it seems its not good enough, but crying wont help me, sitting here at my computer wont help me. I need to do somthing, somthing that i missed. Here i go- and i dont know where.
1 Comments:
"Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
at the voice of the enemy,
at the stares of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger.
My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death assail me.
Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhlemed me.
I said "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest--
I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;
I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm."
Confuse the wicked, O Lord,
confound their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city
Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
If and enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to Sheol,
for evil finds lodging among them.
But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.
God, who is enthroned forever,
will hear them and afflict them--
men who never change their ways
and have no fear of God.
My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.
Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
But you, O God, wil bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you."
Psalm 55
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