So this is whats on the go...actually way to much is on the go to some up in a sentence. But what is true is that I am super super super busy.
I coordinate a kids club program in downtown Winnipeg, run the childrens choir in my church, and co - run a jr. youth group that I really havn't been giving enough attention, participate in a worship team along with songsters. I also am in my last semester of high school and want to do very well and my idea of well happens to be extremely high when it comes to school or anything from that matter. On top of all that I have a job at The Salvation Army Thrift store. Even though I dont work as much as some people I know, its just one more thing on my plate that keeps me from being able to sit. I recently had to let down my teacher. I was in the chamber choir, which I loved, but had to drop it because I am incapable of making the practices due to work. I love doing all these things (well work not so much) but the point is Each of these things keep me moving consistantly even if I'm exausted.
Right now, I feel spritually exausted. I'm feeling as if I'm doing a lot of things where I am striving to help people see God to the point that I forget to sit with him myslef. I really havn't had the chace latley either. At church I miss half the service for the kids choir and I havn't really had a good amount of time to just sit with God. I am always always doing somthing. THe other thing is, things are always popping into my head of things that I could be doing, but I cant becuase there is not an existant caffinated drink that could keep me going for that amount of time. I want to do all these things, but I'm so busy and drained to the point that I just want to calapse.
My busyness is scaring me because I don't spend time with God as much as I'd like to and when I do , I am not as in tune to what he is saying, I hear music but I can't make out the melody and I find this scarry. I am making important choices currently ( such as what programs I do for kids club, what college I attend) and me being not entirely sure what GOd wants makes me nervous and stressed. I really dont want to make a mistake to what he wants me to do. I need to sit down and listen to Him. I want his voice to be loud and clear. I'm seccond guessing what I do.
I jsut really hope that I am doing what God wants me to do and the choices I make are the ones he would want. I want to follow his will nad stick to the map he gave me, I just hope I'm reading it right...

hopefully that blog didnt make me sound insane... i dont know if i expained my brain well at alll. anywho thats all for now

Spinning

Spinning around
And around and around
Which way is up?
And which way is down?
The world is in uproar
My schedule severe
Time is the hunter
And I am the deer
Spinning around
And around and around
Where is the path
That I’m to go down?
Voices are screaming
And calling my name
Which one is truth?
And which one is blame?
Spinning around
And around and around
Which way is up?
And which way is down?

Just close your eyes
And lift your hands
I will hold you
And we will dance
And we will dance
And we will dance

Spinning around
And around and around
Which way is up?
And which way is down?
And we will dance
And we will dance
Spinning around
And around and around
Which way is up?
And which way is down?
And we will dance
And we will dance

Lost in your love
Lost in time
For I am yours
And you are mine
Lost, yet found
For you are mine
And I am yours
And you are mine

Just close your eyes
And lift your hands
I will hold you
And we will dance
And we will dance
And we will dance
Spinning around
And around and around
Which way is up?
And which way is down?


please please please...for a moment, let me dance

There once was a girl who was locked away in a tower. Living in a pitch black room, she was terrified of the darkness. The tower was well equiped with torture machines that existed soley to bring her down. This is the life she lived, and this is the life she knew.
As the girl lived in the tower for numerous years, her eyes slowly became to adapt to the darkness; almost to the point that she could see in the night. The darkness became somthing she got used to and no longer feared. The torture machines no longer had the same affect of her, the torture machines could only use so many tatics before she got used to them. Life in the tower had become all she knew, to the point where it became comfrotable.
In a village far far away, a prince decided he was going to fight a long and hard journey to save this girl from the life in the tower. He travelled a long way, fought fights where he was sure to die, and finally made it to the girls locked tower.

When he entered the tower and told the girl he was there to rescue her, she trembled in fear. The prince, being confused couldn't grasp this concept. Why would anyone want to stay here? Why doesn't she want somthing better than this life?
The fact is, the girl is now secure in the tower, if she stays, she knows how to deal with the darkness and tortures. The tower is safe, becuase it has become her life. IF she were to live life outside the tower, she would face a new relm of the unknown, new vulnerabilites and new problems. At least in the tower she is safe. The girl didn't want to be rescued.
The prince now did somthing very humble, he looked at the girl and understood. He left the tower and told the girl he would walk the outside would with her. As for right now, he was going to wait. Waiting right outside the door for her to take the gift he is offering. Ans when she stands he will take her into the world and show her his kingdom.

PAthways

So many roads to walk down
Which one points to you?
If there's one that's Godly
Why's it the hardest one to choose?

The other roads are calling
Offering gifts I can enjoy
Some may think its' crazy
That I'd fall for such a ploy

So when my logic fails me
And darkness looks liek truth
HElp me to remember
What I felt when I felt you

This world I'm in is spinning
Endless jargon in my head
If this is life I'm living
Why's it living me instead?

Some roads point to heaven
THe other's no one knows
But when I walk into the light
Why do I walk alone?

This world I'm in is spinning
Endless jargon in my head
If it's life I'm living
Whys it living me instead?

So when my logic fails me
And darkness looks like truth
HElp me to remember
What I felt when I felt you
Show me who I am
And can be
In you