So I was cleaning my room today...and I was looking around at all my pics. I have 2 walls of camp stuff, my closet is convered of Newfoundland stuff, and i have my scrap book full pictures of youth group in newfoundland. As I was looking at these pictures I started to wonder about how each of these places have fromed my identity and helped develop my character.
I saw pics of people from my church from like when people were 5 to like last year. It was kinda weird. I live here now, and I feel like its right, but for some reason me seeing those pictures made me feel almost as if a piece of the past was missing. I have only been in Winnipeg sence september and i have ajusted quite well sence I've been going to heritage ( thats my church for those of you who don't know).When I say I like Winnipeg, I mean it entirely!
But when I do feel out of place...i finally figured out why. Not only have I not grown up here...but I really havent grown up in any place in particular. I'm not from a specific place...I'm from several diffrent ones. IF someone were to ask me where I was from, I wouldn't know how to answer. I've moved so much that when I finalyl get comfortable with a place,I can't help but wonder if i'll be uprooted. Is this a common problem for officer kids maybe? or is it more a Jennifer problem??? I jsut dont know.
The good thing about Winnipeg is I know for sure that the next move I make will be entirely up to me. I am graduated in less than a year... I can choose to stay....or I can choose to leave ( for the reccord I'm staying here for university). So in that respect this move has been easier than the others, by knowing that fact.
But yeah, for some reason when I think to hard....I find my self feeling like I'm missing part of the past. I don' have all the pieces of the puzzle and I end up wodnering what I would be like if I grew up here.
But its good. I only think like this when I'm by my self. I have never felt like that when I am with people from church. It feels as if I've always been here...and thats a new concept.
MY conclusion on my pointless rambleing is....i donnno . I guess anyone who is reading this can make their own. Thats just what has been on my mind. But I would like to say that i really really am glad that I have moved here. I feel at this point it is exactly where God wants me.
posted by Jenn @ 10:39 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Your Grandpa used to say, "Canada is home." It's true.
Your outlook is good - and healthy. Looking back, I've got friends and family all over the country and the world. That's not something everyone can say, and it gives you a unique perspective on life. Not only that, but yes, it helps make you... you.
Never quite at home, but always feeling somewhat at home just about anywhere. I think that's neat. I wouldn't trade my experience for anything.
Come to think of it... Jesus once said he had "no place to lay his head"... I guess even if you spent your whole life in one place, following him you'll always feel as if home is somewhere else - and it is.
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